Animal Instincts

Have you ever stumbled upon a stray dog, coyote, or small wolf unexpectedly? The animal doesn't move but, instead, stares at you...intently...wondering what your next move is going to be...will you be aggressive?...threatening?...scared? He's totally locked in to you...using all senses to detect your motives...showing his teeth in hopes of eliciting a telling gesture from you. Do you stare back while flashing your fangs? Do you reek of weakness? Do you break eye contact? Do you stand your ground?

I approach every encounter with new people as a wolf who has his back against the wall. I used to come at people like a friendly dog...wagging my tail...panting...eager to play with my new companions. I have since discarded this approach to unknown people. I have been kicked, starved, chained to posts, and locked in basements too many times to keep employing this canine style of interaction. I will no longer subject myself to having my tail set on fire or my paws burned with lit cigarettes. I have had my kindness and hospitality taken for weakness far too many times. I now trust no one. This even includes people I think that I know. No one is safe from my scrutiny, paranoia, or my guarded mind. I view everyone as a potential confrontation...a potential enemy...a potential Judas Iscariot. I survey my surroundings like a lone wolf searching for shelter in a forrest full of predators. Each step is extremely calculated...cautious...sometimes even conniving.

I wish I didn't have to be this way...I wish I could shed this paranoia...I wish I didn't have to view everyone as waiting enemies...sleeper cells out to destroy me. Unfortunately, I have no choice. Don't get me wrong...I don't attack without provocation. I don't attack for the sheer enjoyment of tearing flesh from bone. Self preservation is my only motive. While I stay on constant alert, I still have the ability to open up my den to someone...clean someone else's fur...share my rabbit meat.
It might take time, but if you prove yourself worthy...you will receive the hospitality, kindness, and loyalty that you are due as a member of the pack. However, if disloyalty and guile are your paramount qualities, you will be pounced upon and devoured before dusk sets in. And as the moon reveals itself, I howl...with the bitter taste of your disloyal blood and tendons still fresh on my tongue. I howl...as a sincere thank you to the sacred few and as an audible warning to the vile many.