2 Stories, 1 Lie

I had a major decision to make before I shipped off to basic training. My '85 Buick Riviera needed a home. It wasn't going with me to El Paso. I knew that much. I flirted with donating it to the Purple Heart or the Vietnam Veterans of America; but instead, I decided to sell it to my coworker, Buster, who was down on his luck. He needed a car and it wasn't like anyone else was beating my door down to buy the bucket. The next day at work, I gave him the keys and he gave me a few hundred dollars. I told him to leave the plate on until he got it home so he wouldn't get harassed for driving without plates. I wanted to save the guy some hassle.

About a week later I got a notice from the Garden City Police Department. Apparently, my license plate was linked to a robbery at a Garden City gas station. Perfect. My recruiter will love to hear that I have a felony warrant against me with only two days before my ship out date.

I decided to take a proactive approach so I called the detective assigned to my case. I told him I sold the car to someone in a Farmer Jack parking lot and played it off like I was a dumb kid who didn't know that he was supposed to take the plate off. I'll never forget what the cop said to me over the phone. "Well sir, you sound Caucasian and the videotape shows the suspect to be Black."
Before I could decide whether that statement was racist or not, the detective told me that he would take care of the warrant and to call him if I could remember who I sold the car to.

I immediately called Buster after I hung up with the detective. He told me that he lent the car to one of his buddies over the weekend. I told him that I was cancelling the registration so he needed to figure something out. Buster quit a few days after we talked and a friend of mine from the job told me he saw my Riviera a few weeks later, burned out somewhere in a Brightmoor alley. That car lived a full life!

I started dating again about 2 or 3 months after my divorce. In retrospect, I didn't give myself enough recovery time. If I HAD taken some extra time to get myself together before getting involved with someone else, I could have avoided some major heart and headache. I met Mimi in a Spanish class at O.C.C. Instantly we noticed an intense chemistry since we were both aspiring writers, the same age, and had attended the same concert the previous weekend.

We immediately started dating and the more I got to know her, the more I realized she was the "perfect woman."
We called each other at work multiple times a day and I couldn't think about her without smiling. We became the nausiating, new couple who couldn't avoid public affection. I was so happy that I had found love again so soon after a devestating divorce.

We went out pubhopping on St. Patty's Day a couple months after we finished our Espanol class. I was at the bar ordering us some more green beer as I watched Mimi skip off to the bathroom. After about 20 minutes of her being gone, I began to wonder what was going on. I headed towards the bathrooms and waited by the doors wondering if I should go in and check on her. A lady came by and I asked her to pop inside and check on my girlfriend. I was scared Mimi was sick.

"No one was in there," the girl reported as she walked out. I was confused. I KNOW I saw Mimi head this way. Since the bathrooms were close to the pub enterance, I decided to see if she had went outside. As I walked through the parking lot, I couldn't believe what I saw. She was in the passenger seat of some guy's car, reclining with her eyes closed. Fury built inside of me as I started pounding on the passenger side window. The automatic window started lowering and I began yelling.

It really sucks when you realize that the person you thought you knew so well turns out to be a complete stranger. Before I had the chance to find out what was going on and who this guy was, I saw a spoon and a syringe on the floorboard, a small trickle of blood on Mimi's inner arm, and a small, dimebag of powder in the cupholder. Oh my God, she just shot up. I couldn't believe it. Before everything registered, the guy in the drivers seat told me he would take her home. Immediately, it all clicked. I had never been to her house because she lived in Flint but worked and went to school in Farmington. I never saw her before dusk on Saturday or Sunday. She always took certain cell phone conversations to my patio when she was over. I always assumed the calls were work related. I was so blind.

I turned on my heels and headed back into the bar to get as drunk as I could. The car containing Mimi peeled out of the parking lot as I called my brother to come pick me up from the pub. What a day of revelations. Mimi was married AND a heroin user. Excellent. To this day, I can't believe I was so blindfolded by love that I couldn't put 2 and 2 together. I really wish I hadn't started dating so soon after my divorce.

Why is This Dick Still Talking?

Hey traitor, why are you still showing your face, much less publically criticizing the current administration? We all understand that you disagree with Biden and Obama's views. After all, that's why they were elected. No one was really interested in watching America suffer even more under your destructive policies.

Granted, you did the previously unthinkable. You and your administration were able to combine the Vietnam War with the Great Depression AND the attack on Pearl Harbor. You successfully merged the worst periods in American history into a single 8 year span. Congratulations. The economy is in the toilet, we are involved in two unwinable wars, and 9/11 occurred because of your administration's incompetence. As much as I don't agree with Obama's policies, you have absolutely no right to open your stupid mouth. In fact, I feel bad for Obama. He took on the task of trying to clean up the mess you and your puppet--EEEERRRRR--boss created. Even though Obama should handle things differently, your policies of greed and imperialism are hardly what this country needs.

However, this should make you humble, not outspoken. Why can't you just roll over and die already old man? You have destroyed this country's image around the world with your illegal wiretapping and lust for torture. You have sunk the economy with your outrageous spending and the irresponsible handling of Katrina is fresh on everyones minds because of the Saints. (I bet the homeless residents of New Orleans REALLY haven't forgotten.) Thanks for your suggestions, but you have done quite enough. I am not interested in your silly critique of the man responsible for trying to fix the mess you left behind.

Just be thankful the current administation hasn't brought you and Bush up on charges of treason and war crimes. Believe me, there is more than a little evidence to convict both of you scumbags. But, since legal justice will never find you, all we freedom loving Americans can do is wait for your evil heart to stop ticking. When that glorious day happens, I hope Congress declares it a holiday. Who couldn't use another three day weekend?

Late Night Philosophy

If you're looking for the "Steven King" post, it's one entry down. This post is merely for soul purification. It's 4am and once again, I cannot fall asleep...even after utilizing all of my "konk out kwick" techniques. Lately, if my mind reaches hibernation before 7am, it's a triumph.

I have no idea what's got me all wound up. I'm stressed, but no more so than usual. I don't know what's up but I'm hoping that beating this insomnia is the last stage I must complete to gain re-entry into the realm of people who truly participate in life.

I was laid off last May and my dismissal felt more like release from prison than a lay off. I worked second shift at a steel factory. 2pm-12am M-F, and 10am-8pm Saturday. Enjoying life became a pipe dream. Simply basking in sunlight became a fantasy. Besides my ride to work, I rarely saw the world naturally lit. If I did get an opportunity to venture into the daylight, my surroundings were limited to a caged-in, barbed-wire protected yard full of steel ingots. Here are some nice, "Ansel Adams style" photographs of it. Doesn't really put you into a "nature" mood even though, technically, it's outdoors. Such a depressing atmosphere.

At the end of the day though, work is work. Very few of us will ever LOVE our jobs but I felt like inmate #74823 in that plant. Most of my off time was spent sleeping and recovering from the battering I took throughout the week. It wasn't even the physical aspect of the work, the awkward hours, the intense heat, or even the gloomy vibe wafting through the walls. It was the mental anguish that accompanied all of it. Every time I punched in for work, I wondered if I would be able to leave without having to clean out my locker and turn in my uniforms. The anxiety and insanity would ricochet through my head as I tried to plan for the worst case scenario of losing my job. Sometimes, my entire ride into work would be spent figuring out how I could make ends meet if I did, in fact, get laid off. Budgetary math was the only thing I could lock in on, even with "The Jim Rome Show" blaring tnrough my truck speakers.

It's been about 9 months now and everything is going well. Believe it or not, my finances are actually the best they have been in recent memory and I'm really enjoying being back within an academic atmosphere as opposed to an industrial one. My worst day at school is paradise compared to my best day in the factory.

Now I just need to learn how to fall asleep without having to resort to 3 hours of rituals. Then I will be completely back. Better than ever. The reality of my prison release is finally sinking in and I'm finally adjusting to it. I have almost acclimated back into society and it feels good. Only a few more prison tattoos left to laser off and no one would even know I had done a stint in the mental penitentiary. Damn I hope this Nyquil kicks in soon.

A Passive King We Need Not!

Steven King is a genius and his memoir, "On Writing," is as captivating as his fiction. This book should become the cornerstone of any aspiring writer's library if it isn't already. King successfully mixes his memoir and writing advise in a manner that is informative, riveting, and educational. It lacks the pretentious bullshit that many "How to Write" books (especially the ones written by established authors) use as their foundation.

"WRITING IS SEDUCTION."

No woman will ever agree to a second date if you are timid on the first. I never plant flutters inside of a woman's heart when a date ends with an awkward, steakhouse parking lot kiss on the cheek. Every so often, a date concludes this way, and believe me, no one has ever called the next day gushing over how hot my confidence-lacking smooch made them. In fact, if someone actually DOES call me after I pull a stunt like that, it is usually to tell me to grow some balls. And they are right. I should.

The same holds true with writing. As an author, you must passionately court your reader. You cannot be shy about using an active voice. Make your sentences bold. Put yourself out there. Go in confidently with a sensuous, "you will never forget tonight" style of kiss. Sweep the reader off their feet.

Correct: I extremely enjoyed your company tonight. I'll call ya tomorrow so we can set up another time to do this. (Place a lingering kiss on the woman's mouth until her eye's slightly flutter.) Have a great night.


Incorrect: Your company tonight was extremely enjoyed by me. In my opinion, i feel that we should maybe do this again...maybe...if you want to. Soooooo, I guess I will call you on your phone sometime soon. (Plant your dry, motionless lips on her cheek.) See ya later, I hope.

Be assertive. Maintain a genuine voice, but write aggressively. Omit unnecessary, disempowering words. Force readers to deal with the situation that you have thrust upon them. Exude confidence at all times and your quality of work will flourish.

Viva la Revolucion!

Sarah Palin and her brand of neo-conservatism amazes me. The hypocrisy of her platform is mind blowing. All of a sudden, socialism is wrong. All of a sudden, we need revolution. All of a sudden, big government is evil. Where were these complaints 2, 4, 7 years ago? Apparently, all things really ARE relative. I have condensed Sarah Palin's political outlook into 7 key points.

1. Obama is a Marxist! Marxism and socialism are dangerous, evil, and unAmerican! (Unless, of course, corporate debt is socialized by a Republican.
In that case, it's awesome! Forcing tax-payers to pay for irresponsible business decisions is mandatory. Our country would crumble if we allowed greedy corporate executives to suffer the consequences of their short-sighted and oppressive business decisions. It is up to us, as working Americans, to ensure that these folks can continue to live lavishly while we are forced to cut back on our luxuries [affordable health care, employment, food, decent housing, etc.])

2. We need a new revolution!!! (Of course, only right-wing, neo-conservative revolutions are acceptable. A revolution involving ideals such as peace, civil rights, civil liberties, etc. is dangerous and anyone involved in something of this sort is a terrorist, traitor, and a communist. The Black Panthers were violent, cop killers. [The fact that the cops who were killed were in the process of brutalizing and murdering Black women and children is irrelevant.] The Weather Underground was a group of drug addicted anarchists who used terror as their main tool. [The fact that no one ever died from a Weathermen bomb as opposed to the hundreds of thousands of innocent people killed by U.S. military bombings is also irrelevant.] The oppressor must always be shielded from violent retaliations [Unless the perceived oppressor is a Black Democrat. In that case, all bets are off and the White, rich, so-called Christian, heterosexual, male power structure must be defended BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!!])

3. Referring to something as "retarded" is hateful, uneducated, and unacceptable (Unless you are a right-wing junkie with a radio show.
Then it's hilarious and something that definitely needs to be protected as free speech.)

4. Obama's foreign policy makes America weak and creates more terrorists. (Expensive, unnecessary, propaganda-driven, preemptive wars of aggression perpetuated by Republicans DO NOT alienate our allies or create new terrorists. Why would a child resent an occupying government who hired the mercenaries responsible for killing his parents? Absolutely zero correlation. Military Adventurism is the cornerstone of any compassionate, conservative foreign policy. Continuing to police the globe and torture people in secret CIA prisons will actually garner support for the United States, not build the hatred and hopelessness that creates terrorists. After all, the chicken hawks within the Bush Administration would know better than the authors of the Army Field Manual when it comes to the predictable consequences of utilizing torture.)

5. Becoming pro-life is the only Godly and moral stance you can take. Life is sacred!
(Of course, the term "sacred" ONLY applies to the lives of unborn, American babies and suffering terminally ill patients. Disabled military personnel, Iraqi civilians, the homeless and poor, the uninsured, natural disaster victims, and Muslims can all fuck off. Those lives are anything but sacred.)

6. The Constitution is the supreme law of the land (But if it gets in the way of a greedy, Republican scheme and hinders the advancement of the military-industrial complex, the authors didn't really mean what they wrote and lawyers must be found to help circumvent the document.)

7. Obama has secret, hidden Marxist agendas. Presidential Administrations must be transparent. (Except in cases of CIA backed wars, secret prisons of torture, any Republican memo, illegal wiretapping practices, etc. These must be kept hidden for the sake of our liberties.)

Going Rouge doesn't mean that you defend the status quo. It means that you fight it. Marketing hate against a socialist, big-government, Democratic President is ridiculous when less than 2 years ago, the same policies were heralded as wonderful. All of a sudden tyrannical leadership is risky? Stop demonizing and slurring a 1960's revolutionary group who tried to fight the oppressive power structure while you try to stir up a revolution designed to PROTECT the oppressive power structure. It's laughable. Republicans really need to stand up and take the conservative name back from these hateful, war mongering, elitists who have hijacked the entire party.

Sarah Palin '12????

Didn't she quit her post as Governor of Alaska so she could take a job as a FOX news analyist?? Leaving an elected post for a quick money grab is a presidential characteristic that this country needs BADLY!!!

If you want to join a revolution that will actually change the country for the better, disregard Hannity, Limbaugh, Coultier, and the rest of these neoconservatives. Research Ron Paul and decide for yourself which political platform will give America a better opportunity to return to the great nation it once was.